What an emotional read! Not at all what I expected, but in the best of ways.
There was something in the blurb for this book that intrigued me. I think this is the first book that I read where the main character has a mental condition. I have to say that my knowledge about the subject is limited, but in this case I think it’s even better. I could appreciate the author’s vision and the complicated love story of Lucas and Shyann. When I say ‘love story’ it’s not like a fairy tale… unless Prince Charming and big bad wolf were one and the same person, then… yeah.
‘Lucas is unstable. There’s no denying it. As much as he should terrify me, he doesn’t, and that’s what worries me the most.’
The story was very engaging and entertaining, with a retrospect at the beginning, giving you a glimpse into the mind of Lucas. With every chapter you find out more and more about his past and the reason why he is the way he is. His blackouts were always an escape for his mind, a refuge for his subconscious where he could feel safe, avoid danger and confrontation. However, the stolen hours, days and their aftermath were too high a price to pay.
You get an insight into his blackouts and even find out things about him, he doesn’t know about himself until he meets Shyann and the routine of his mind starts to crumble. The things he knew and took for granted all of a sudden start changing. His mind is evolving but at the same time the control he has, as little as it is, is starting to fade entirely. You can’t help but to feel for this broken man, who is fighting an inside battle between developing feelings for a woman of his dreams, and the urge to protect her even if the person he needs to protect her from the most is himself.
‘You’re right. I’m safer without you. But the thought of living without you is worse than my fear.’
I was afraid that the ending is going to ruin the book. The thing I wanted to avoid was an ending where Lucas gets himself admitted to a mental institute, or he…
‘magically heals because of love’.
Fortunately, the author gives this story the most beautiful and heart warming conclusion, which definitely put a smile on my face.